The Borders bookstore chain has officially died, and Forbes did an “interpretation” of former VP/CMO/CEO Mike Edward’s letter to the chain’s loyalty program.
“I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to lead Borders…”
Observation: One can only imagine Mr. Edwards was paraphrasing the Captain of the Titanic or reading from a 60% off copy of the Charge of the Light Brigade.
Are you tired of too much living space? Do you find yourself wishing your home had less room, fewer windows, and an exterior that reminds people of a pregnancy test?
Boy, have I got the place for you!
The Worst Book Ever is 'How to Avoid Huge Ships'... -
But it does have the best Amazon customer reviews ever.
Reads like a whodunnit!
By Citizenfitz (The salt grainery)
I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer’s other excellent books: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven’t been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks, captain!
Wake Up, Haters!,
By Madeleine B. (Boulder, CO)
I’m a little annoyed with the sarcastic “reviewers” of this book. You all seem to think it’s funny that some people would honestly like some expert advice on ways to avoid huge ships. What, you’ve never been traveling at a very, very slow speed straight toward something really, really big that you could see for miles and miles away, and wished you’d known what steps you could take to avoid crashing into it? Well, all I can say is “congratulations!” What’s it like to be so perfect? You haters just keep on enjoying your huge-ship-collision-free little fantasies. I for one am going to buy this book and learn something, because I live in the real world, where huge ships and the dangers they present to people like me are actually a serious issue.
(Please, please follow the link for more—they’re just… perfect.)
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees (from the July 1943 Transportation Magazine)
“2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.”
When you HAVE to dredge the bottom of the personnel barrel with old biddies, try and avoid all of those women who have spent their long, infirmed lives living in a dark closet beyond even the whispers of human contact. Otherwise, you’ll have to teach them to, well, stand upright, focus their eyes against the searing light of the sun, and convert their guttural sounds into recognizable words.
“3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.”
Obviously, this is where the well-known saying “A husky woman is a happy woman” originated. OR… the “husky” women took this author out back and beat him up.
“4. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.”
Women, while pleasant enough, are not particularly clever. You’ve probably heard them talk about how much work it takes to run the household while you’re away being a man at a man’s job, but most of that “work” is the result of their lack of initiative. In fact, several hours of their day are spent staring at the wall wondering what to do next! Additional hours are occupied with their befuddled attempts to accomplish the tasks, once they’ve remembered them. While this is all fine and good in the home, in the workplace (the real workplace), we don’t have to tell you that it just wouldn’t pass muster. Be prepared to adjust your management styles accordingly.
“8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.”
Boy, do they ever! Give’em a chance to exercise personal hygiene and wash their hands, and they run like a machine. A machine with mysterious “female conditions” and “weaknesses”, but a machine-ish, nonetheless. (see tip #4)
“11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”
Seriously, folks, women need four things to be happy: tidy hair, fresh lipstick, clean hands, and uniforms that fit. Once they’re happy (which will be more easily and quickly achieved if they are also “husky”), give them simple and specifically outlined tasks so they understand their jobs and don’t end up spending the day wandering around in dazed, confused circles.
B&N Meets BEA--Sort of: In Abu Dhabi, book fairs are for selling -
[A write-up of the Abu Dhabi International Book fair by me and three fellow NYU pub students for Publishers Weekly.]
…in English and Arabic, by the artists in the Illustrator’s Corner at the Abu Dhabi International Book Fair
Goodreads, the social network for book lovers, is introducing an algorithm to recommend books.
Goodreads was started in 2006 for people who wanted to talk about books online. Its 4.6 million members load their virtual bookshelves with books they’ve read, are reading and want to read, rate and review them, and discuss them with friends and others on the site.
Goodreads will announce that it has acquired another start-up, Discovereads.com. It uses machine learning algorithms to analyze which books people might like, based on books they’ve liked in the past and books that people with similar tastes have liked.
edit: I know it’s closed to new members at the moment. Goodreads said it’ll be “coming soon” but I figured I’d let you guys know about it beforehand :) You can already sign in with your Google, Facebook and Yahoo accounts rather than creating a new account.
(Source: The New York Times)
Kinect is the fastest-selling consumer electronics device on record. In the first 60 days, Microsoft sold 10 million of the sensor systems, more than either the iPhone or iPad launches.
That’s a lot.
Enough to get into the Guiness Book of World Records.
Obviously, I wish Microsoft would put that kind of effort behind a rubberband ball; just imagine that entry. H-u-g-e.
FYI: Starbucks is celebrating its 40th anniversary today by randomly awarding $40 gift cards to customers who check in using Foursquare.